The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

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“Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a powerful quote that evokes thoughts of leadership, inspiration and motivation.  When I think of it, several ideas come to mind. There are obvious notions of one having the courage to be a trailblazer by forging ahead into the unknown. I also contend that this quote can mean something more simple in terms of our every day lives. I believe it alludes to how to feel happiness or joy as well.

Here’s what I mean. We live in an awfully competitive world. How one feels is often based upon how they measure up to their peers or those they model themselves after. Having role models is a positive means of giving oneself direction, but ‘keeping up with the Jones’ is not. If you are merely living to keep up with what everyone else is accomplishing, purchasing and wearing…then you aren’t truly living. We should live according to what we are truly called to do, what our passions and talents dictate our purpose to be. This may not fall along the lines of those in our immediate peer group or family. But if you have the courage to follow your own heart’s desires, this may lead to happiness and joy. What do I mean by happiness? The Wikipedia defines it as:

A state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

I believe we may find this joy if we are able to listen to our inner voices, and follow our OWN dreams, not the dreams of others. This means we must have the courage, to do so. To go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” –Dalai Lama

“Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.” –Burton Hills

“Happiness doesn’t depend on what we have, but it does depend on how we feel towards what we have. We can be happy with little and miserable with much.” –W.D. Hoard

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” –Franklin Roosevelt

Do you attribute these behaviors to your intelligence, diligence, or ability to see things through? This may very well be the case…and at the same time, you may also be a ‘worry wort’ without even realizing it. Maybe you are contributing to the solution of your problems or issues. On the other hand, you may be adding stress to your own life by ruminating problems that haven’t an immediate solution.

Ruminating can have positive effects in your efforts to resolve issues you may have in your personal life, work place, in your family, or in other areas that require decision making. It may also have the opposite effect of clouding your thought processes so that it becomes even more difficult to find a solution to your problem. Sometimes solutions come in moments of clarity, not worrying.

Meditation is a wonderful way to clear your mental space. It is relaxing and helps to relieve stress as well. If you find yourself tangled in your own thoughts, or just unable to sleep because your mind works around the clock, meditation may be for you.

Meditation promotes relaxation, concentration, and transcendence. If you are new to meditation and need assistance with getting started, the popular …for Dummies series offers Meditation for Dummies. Click the book for purchasing info. Two other helpful books on meditation include: The Art of Meditation and Meditation for Beginners.

The next time you feel like you need a happiness boost, make a list of all the things that you are happy about. Then smile about them. You’ll be surprised, but this little exercise in REMEMBERING YOUR JOY goes a long way toward living A Wonderful Life.

I offer community service as a sure fire means of gaining the proper perspective in your life. Often times we get so caught up in ‘coveting thy neighbor’, we forget the blessings that have already been bestowed upon us in our own lives. If you are sick of your job, maybe remembering the thousands of unemployed will help you to be more thankful that you have a job at all. If you are wishing you could buy a home instead of living in the small apartment you can barely afford, perhaps volunteering to feed the homeless at a shelter or church will have you counting your blessings.

This past holiday season I had the honor of participating in several community service events with my WNBA team the Phoenix Mercury that really lifted my spirits. In this photo, I am chaperoning underprivileged children in the Phoenix, Arizona community along with other current or retired professional athletes on a Christmas shopping spree provided by Dick’s Sporting Goods and Bob Lanier and friends. The children were so excited to have the opportunity to shop for clothes, sports equipment and shoes that they couldn’t stop talking about all of their options. In fact, it was partly a math assignment, as they had to figure the best way to spend their gift cards. They had a wonderful time, as did I, because it always feels good to give back to the community.

I also helped to deliver Christmas gifts to children in the Banner Health Children’s Hospital along with the Phoenix Suns’ Shawn Marion and DJ Strawberry and Phoenix Mercury assistant coach Bridget Pettis. We passed out teddy bears, gifts and signed autographs. We took pictures and chatted it up with the patients, their families and friends. We wished them well and a great holiday season. It’s sometimes difficult to see children with ailments, but knowing that they were as excited as they were to see the Suns and the WNBA Championship Phoenix Mercury made it worth it. It also reminded me of how thankful I am to have good health and that my 8 year-old daughter is in good health.

The Phoenix Mercury also participated in the “Be a Santa To A Senior” program at the Kivel Campus of Care. We celebrated the holiday season with the seniors living at the home with a wonderful holiday party full of gifts refreshments and carolers. We also passed out Mercury T-shirts and autographed them. Many of the seniors were without family during the holiday season so our participation in their holiday party was definitely something that touched their hearts. It touched ours as well. With all of our differences (I.e. race, class, gender, religion, etc.) we often forget the human aspect of life that unites us. During the holidays, everyone usually has the same need to be with family or loved ones. We acted as surrogate family, and it was much appreciated.

I also took my daughter with me to feed the homeless so that she could also benefit from a little perspective. Children often get beside themselves when creating their holiday wish list. Understanding how many people live without the basic necessities helped her understand that everything she wants isn’t what she needs. Although I was well aware of that fact, participating in community service events served to remind me as well. It was a lesson learned for both of us.

If you are needing a little perspective to remind you that you are living A Wonderful Life, may I suggest to you doing community service. My holiday dose has done wonders for me!

This made me think about how emotional scars have the same effect. Often times we are far removed from painful incidents in our lives, but we continue to live as if the pain or incident is a current situation. For example, you may have been cheated on by a former love, and just can’t bring yourself to trust your new mate. Or maybe you were passed over on a promotion that you presumed was rightfully yours, so you hesitate to fully commit to your job now in resentment. These actions serve no purpose other than self-sabotage.

Letting go of past emotional pain is a powerful tool. If only we could recognize that we hold on to so much. My example is obvious because it is physical and tangible. Emotional scarring, on the other hand, may be difficult to detect. One way of detecting this tendency is to evaluate areas of your life that bring you negative or conflicting emotions. Analyzing the root of these feelings. Are they the actual results of your current situation, or are you merely acting out an old script? This may be difficult to decipher, but honesty is always the best policy, especially with yourself. If you are being honest with yourself, and accepting of each new situation for what it is, you will discover an opportunity to do a rewrite or to maybe even start from scratch.

This is important for your mental and emotional health as well as your personal growth. If you are merely reliving past negative episodes, how can you move forward. Its hard to move on if you are going in circles.

Allow your past pain to heal, and trust that it has, once it has. Then move onward and upward. This is a vital step in living A Wonderful Life!

What do I mean exactly? I mean that instead of everyone turning inward to find what brings us joy, maybe we should try bringing joy to others’ lives. We live in a reciprocal world, where the energy put into the universe usually returns to us in kind. This is also known as karma. Deepak Chopra discusses karma as one of the Universal Laws of Success in his book so titled (I’ll go into that further in a future post with the book review).

With that in mind, maybe we should spend more energy on not only trying to make ourselves happy, but also genuinely trying to spread joy in others’ lives. Of course we should do this for our family, friends, colleagues and associates. I think we should also do this for acquaintances we encounter as well. A smile in another person’s direction may light up their day. In turn, maybe they will not only smile back, but pass it on. Now, you are responsible for actually spreading joy.

What are some other, more specific ways to spread joy? Here are a few examples courtesy of Tim Milburn & Kerry Shean-Dewey’s e-book 103 Ways To Add Value To People:

1. Complement people in some way within the first 30 seconds of your conversation.
2. Ask people questions about three key areas: their passions, their projects, and their
   principles.
3. Complement a person about something specific in front of another person.
4. Remember people’s names.
5. Remember people’s birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions. Send them a
   note on those dates to let them know you are sharing in their celebration.
6. Strive to be the first to help a person whom you know in need.
7. Comment on someone’s blog or myspace page with kind words and a
   recommendation for that person and the work he or she is doing.
8. Send handwritten notes as often as possible. Writing a note out by hand expresses
   more of a personal touch and a greater investment of time.
9. Offer the unexpected, anonymous gift. Bring coffee to your co-workers. Arrive to
   work early and leave a small gift on someone’s office chair. Leave a gift card on
   someone’s windshield.
10. Express gratitude for the ways that people specifically add value to your own life.

If you are interested in more ways to make others happy, Google the e-book and download it for yourself. Or just get creative. Think of all the ways others have made you happy in the past, or what would make you happy if someone did it for you. As the saying goes, do unto others…